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August 20, 2014

The Best Cure for a Lousy Disease: Wonderful Friends

I said when I moved here that I wanted to fill this house up with love. Every time friends visit and we laugh in the garden or share tales at the table it gets fuller and fuller. Here’s to my lovely home splitting some seams.

The Best Cure for a Lousy Disease: Wonderful Friends

I said when I moved here that I wanted to fill this house up with love. Every time friends visit and we laugh in the garden or share tales at the table it gets fuller and fuller. Here’s to my lovely home splitting some seams.

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August 19, 2014

Meet Zippy the Scooter.

So this how I’ll go for longer walks with my dog Moki as APBD progresses.

Besides running over Moki’s foot, closing the garage door on Zippy and getting stuck with one wheel off the ground, all went exceptionally well in the test drive on my block.

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August 13, 2014

They say you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. On the left are the “eggs.” On the right the “omelette.” The pile on the left is one fourth of the total winnowing, sorting, editing of 17 years of clients’ design projects. Designs of those who have moved, sold their house, sold their business. There were the sketches, ideas, processes, saved extra copies. Now streamlined to current and past projects that somehow I am still involved with.

What a different approach than a regular body person’s. After my friend Lindsay moved the shelving from the kitchen to the studio the tubes and flats were still on one side of the house and needed to relocate to the other. So I set up a relay system from room to room with my granny/shopping carts, wheeled stool, rolling chairs. It was an honest day’s work and though it wore me out, balm for my Virgo soul.

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August 3, 2014

Happy Birthday Mom
August 3, 2014
You’d be 91 today. Here’s to chocolate cake, lions and lavender. I love you.

Happy Birthday Mom
August 3, 2014

You’d be 91 today. Here’s to chocolate cake, lions and lavender. I love you.
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August 3, 2014

Farm to Table

I find one of the best balms for bumbling body and sagging soul is a delicious meal shared. So last night Andrea, Tom and I cooked, whirled and walked to the garden with the freshest and most delicious summer bounty under the setting sun. Cheeses, olives, gazpacho, pesto sautéed summer squashes, super salad and Sauvignon Blanc all harvested and consumed lovingly. A bounty in true farm to table spirit.

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July 30, 2014

Public Humiliation, The Worst of Both Worlds, Just Rewards

To live with and write about this disease is to accept public humiliation. The other day my brother said, “I wouldn’t write about something personal like that on a blog.” Well any regular person wouldn’t but remember I’m not regular anymore. I’m an APBD tribeswoman daily facing high hurdles with limited jumping skills. I have have publicly peed my pants, fallen, fainted, farted. APBD is embarrassing. The choice I have made is to accept it, face it, embrace it and see how I can most gracefully survive it and even flourish. I hope to offer insights to fellow travelers, friends and family. Neither the disease nor the blog are for the squeamish.

With that said here’s the newest:
 self catheterization. I thought I would die before going there but here I am and it isn’t so bad actually. What was so bad were the ongoing UTIs and getting to the new gnobladder specialist at Oakland Kaiser. They sent me to three wrong buildings. I do not exaggerate, I walked close to a mile by the time I arrived at Dr M’s office. By the third parking experience the garage man took one look at me and personally escorted me to her office. Oh and look at the silver lining in this tarnished tale, human kindness. The doctor young, smart, generous with her time was worth the journey. Compassionately she said that I have the worst of both worlds. UAB (under active bladder) means I can’t pee when I want, yet still do I pee when I don’t want. There’s the public humiliation again. The deterioration of brain to bladder and damage to these nerves are definitely worst aspects of the disease. If the protocol offers relief I’m on it. 

After three hours I left and headed straight for a swim on a glorious evening. Shower, home for Moki and off to Mrs Dalloway’s bookstore. Jacqueline Winspear was reading from her new novel “The Care and Management of Lies.” I registered for the event months ago. I’m addicted to her “Massie Dobbs” mysteries and gobbled this one up though not part of that series. When Ms Winspear signed my book after commenting what a lovely dog Moki is, I said the new novel cries out for a sequel to which she replied in her perfect British diction, “stay tuned.”

So there you have it, a day in the life with public humiliation, the worst of both worlds and just rewards.

Public Humiliation, The Worst of Both Worlds, Just Rewards

To live with and write about this disease is to accept public humiliation. The other day my brother said, “I wouldn’t write about something personal like that on a blog.” Well any regular person wouldn’t but remember I’m not regular anymore. I’m an APBD tribeswoman daily facing high hurdles with limited jumping skills. I have have publicly peed my pants, fallen, fainted, farted. APBD is embarrassing. The choice I have made is to accept it, face it, embrace it and see how I can most gracefully survive it and even flourish. I hope to offer insights to fellow travelers, friends and family. Neither the disease nor the blog are for the squeamish.

With that said here’s the newest:
 self catheterization. I thought I would die before going there but here I am and it isn’t so bad actually. What was so bad were the ongoing UTIs and getting to the new gnobladder specialist at Oakland Kaiser. They sent me to three wrong buildings. I do not exaggerate, I walked close to a mile by the time I arrived at Dr M’s office. By the third parking experience the garage man took one look at me and personally escorted me to her office. Oh and look at the silver lining in this tarnished tale, human kindness. The doctor young, smart, generous with her time was worth the journey. Compassionately she said that I have the worst of both worlds. UAB (under active bladder) means I can’t pee when I want, yet still do I pee when I don’t want. There’s the public humiliation again. The deterioration of brain to bladder and damage to these nerves are definitely worst aspects of the disease. If the protocol offers relief I’m on it.

After three hours I left and headed straight for a swim on a glorious evening. Shower, home for Moki and off to Mrs Dalloway’s bookstore. Jacqueline Winspear was reading from her new novel “The Care and Management of Lies.” I registered for the event months ago. I’m addicted to her “Massie Dobbs” mysteries and gobbled this one up though not part of that series. When Ms Winspear signed my book after commenting what a lovely dog Moki is, I said the new novel cries out for a sequel to which she replied in her perfect British diction, “stay tuned.”

So there you have it, a day in the life with public humiliation, the worst of both worlds and just rewards.

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July 23, 2014

Joining us for our monthly APBD chat group was the husband of a woman who’s had the disease for 12 years. They live in Israel, near Tel Aviv. It was four in the morning. More frequently than not these days the warning siren of an incoming rocket blasts. That’s the cue to run quickly for the underground shelter. 
Run
Quickly
APBD
A dozen years.
“Sometimes we can’t get there in time,” he said. “But life goes on. Life goes on.”

That is until it doesn’t.

Joining us for our monthly APBD chat group was the husband of a woman who’s had the disease for 12 years. They live in Israel, near Tel Aviv. It was four in the morning. More frequently than not these days the warning siren of an incoming rocket blasts. That’s the cue to run quickly for the underground shelter.
Run
Quickly
APBD
A dozen years.
“Sometimes we can’t get there in time,” he said. “But life goes on. Life goes on.”

That is until it doesn’t.
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July 22, 2014

Welcome to Princess Beach on Prince Street

Thank goodness for this sweet place to relax and restore. Its finally done and just in the nick of time. The day started off innocuously enough but by this evening devolved thoroughly.

First of all I didn’t sleep enough, recipe for trouble. After a nice morning swim, a lovely yoga of long held supine poses I took off with Moki on errands. 

First to drop off return items at my neighborhood UPS shop. Onward to the phone store for a simple landline. I picked up a hard wired style phone for emergencies. 

Third stop Berkeley Bowl which I really dislike but was out of tea and they sell in bulk. Half way home I realize I wasn’t wearing my prescription sunglasses. Couldn’t find at the Bowl, bummer. 

Next I walk in the house, my phone rings and I ask to have a moment to collect myself with which I catch my foot, must have been a loose molecule, and flip back into the door which crashes shut. “Be right there.” Lol.

After we hang up, I go to the garden to look around. I check the baby veggies. One kale withered. I pull the hose over and of course trip on another molecule. My hand squeezes the nozzle. I get a bath. Enough of the hose, I coil it back on its stand.

On my way inside I see Moki’s water bowl is low. Rather than using the hose I go inside fill my electric kettle and start walking toward the bowl outside. Yes a molecule. Only this is a disaster. It’s a glass kettle and I fly with it leaving what looks like a forensic scene. Glass and water everywhere. And then Moki’s coming to my aid. But to do so he will be in a mine field of glass shards. I make him sit stay away from me but his job is to come when I fall. Now both of us are upset and shaking. I crab crawl to a handy towel and sit on it to gather the shards with a doubled over plastic bag. The glass is everywhere, water is everywhere ( but the water bowl). Twenty minutes later I’m done. It needs vacuuming and luckily that will happen tomorrow. God I wish I could drink…

Moki and I go collapse on the bed. I realize its 7, he needs to eat, I should also. After pouring him a lip smacking bowl of kibbles I decide to heat the soup I made yesterday and have popcorn with it. I put a small handful of popcorn grains in a brown paper bag in the microwave. I walk into another room,  hear it popping but notice a burnt smell. I pull out the bag and the thing goes up in flames in my hand. I throw it in the sink turn the water on and narrowly avert a real disaster. 

Enough. I pinch myself, I’m alive to tell the tale. Princess Beach I’m coming.

Welcome to Princess Beach on Prince Street

Thank goodness for this sweet place to relax and restore. Its finally done and just in the nick of time. The day started off innocuously enough but by this evening devolved thoroughly.

First of all I didn’t sleep enough, recipe for trouble. After a nice morning swim, a lovely yoga of long held supine poses I took off with Moki on errands.

First to drop off return items at my neighborhood UPS shop. Onward to the phone store for a simple landline. I picked up a hard wired style phone for emergencies.

Third stop Berkeley Bowl which I really dislike but was out of tea and they sell in bulk. Half way home I realize I wasn’t wearing my prescription sunglasses. Couldn’t find at the Bowl, bummer.

Next I walk in the house, my phone rings and I ask to have a moment to collect myself with which I catch my foot, must have been a loose molecule, and flip back into the door which crashes shut. “Be right there.” Lol.

After we hang up, I go to the garden to look around. I check the baby veggies. One kale withered. I pull the hose over and of course trip on another molecule. My hand squeezes the nozzle. I get a bath. Enough of the hose, I coil it back on its stand.

On my way inside I see Moki’s water bowl is low. Rather than using the hose I go inside fill my electric kettle and start walking toward the bowl outside. Yes a molecule. Only this is a disaster. It’s a glass kettle and I fly with it leaving what looks like a forensic scene. Glass and water everywhere. And then Moki’s coming to my aid. But to do so he will be in a mine field of glass shards. I make him sit stay away from me but his job is to come when I fall. Now both of us are upset and shaking. I crab crawl to a handy towel and sit on it to gather the shards with a doubled over plastic bag. The glass is everywhere, water is everywhere ( but the water bowl). Twenty minutes later I’m done. It needs vacuuming and luckily that will happen tomorrow. God I wish I could drink…

Moki and I go collapse on the bed. I realize its 7, he needs to eat, I should also. After pouring him a lip smacking bowl of kibbles I decide to heat the soup I made yesterday and have popcorn with it. I put a small handful of popcorn grains in a brown paper bag in the microwave. I walk into another room, hear it popping but notice a burnt smell. I pull out the bag and the thing goes up in flames in my hand. I throw it in the sink turn the water on and narrowly avert a real disaster.

Enough. I pinch myself, I’m alive to tell the tale. Princess Beach I’m coming.

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July 8, 2014

Anonymous said: Can't figure out how to post on the phone. You are such a brave woman -- we are pulling for you everyday. Love cousin Joel

Thank you!

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July 8, 2014

Up and Walking

I’m finding my way back to my legs and taking them around my new neighborhood. The other day Moki and I walked to the local movie house. Yes a local movie house where first run releases as well as HD telecasts of National Theatre productions are offered. We went on to the ATM a little farther up the road. All tolled it was a delightful half mile round trip. 

Then last night Rob and I resumed our quest for gluten-free pizza, now on the “right” side of the Bay. Zachary’s Chicago deep dish in nearby Rockridge has thin crust 11” daily specials and build your own style. Not a fan of that too much crust style of Chicago pie anyhow, we had thin crust Pizza Bianca - fresh mozzarella, ricotta, lemon zest. Perfect with the crispy salad dressed in house-made roasted red pepper vinaigrette. 

Between new regime of swims, water aerobics, walks, PT, sense of place, acceptance of change/loss I do believe I’m stabilizing my way to home sweet/savory home. Move over you f##ing disease.

Up and Walking

I’m finding my way back to my legs and taking them around my new neighborhood. The other day Moki and I walked to the local movie house. Yes a local movie house where first run releases as well as HD telecasts of National Theatre productions are offered. We went on to the ATM a little farther up the road. All tolled it was a delightful half mile round trip.

Then last night Rob and I resumed our quest for gluten-free pizza, now on the “right” side of the Bay. Zachary’s Chicago deep dish in nearby Rockridge has thin crust 11” daily specials and build your own style. Not a fan of that too much crust style of Chicago pie anyhow, we had thin crust Pizza Bianca - fresh mozzarella, ricotta, lemon zest. Perfect with the crispy salad dressed in house-made roasted red pepper vinaigrette.

Between new regime of swims, water aerobics, walks, PT, sense of place, acceptance of change/loss I do believe I’m stabilizing my way to home sweet/savory home. Move over you f##ing disease.

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